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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Remaining MLB Playoff Teams Say Things More Relaxed Without Yankees Around

OAKLAND, CA—According to sources from the four Major League Baseball teams still in contention for the World Series title, the New York Yankees' first-round elimination has made the mood in the 2006 playoffs much more pressure-free. "When [the Yankees] lost, it was like this giant weight had been lifted," said Oakland A's manager Ken Macha, who noticed that his team was "a little on edge" during their series against the Twins. "Now my team can just go out there, have a good time playing baseball, and not worry about the Yankees getting this idea in their head that it's all about winning." Tony LaRussa, Willie Randolph, and Jim Leyland agreed with Macha's assessment, adding that with the Yankees out of the playoffs, it will also be much easier to win the World Series.

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