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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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R.E.M.’s Children Still Hoping Parents Will Get Back Together

PORTLAND, OR—Claiming they are still struggling to accept their parents’ split-up, the children of seminal alternative rock band R.E.M. revealed Friday that they continue to hope their parents’ band will one day reconcile. “I just don’t understand why they can’t be happy together like they were before, when things were good,” said Zoe, daughter of guitarist Peter Buck, echoing the thoughts of Julian Mills and Zelda Buck, who just want their parents in the acclaimed jangle pop group to get back together in the studio. “I asked my dad if it was our fault that they broke up and he said, ‘No, honey, of course not. Sometimes adult Gen X musicians just don’t get along.’ But it hurts. I just want it to be like it was on the Monster tour again.” At press time, the members of R.E.M. reassured the children that, no matter what, they would always be the 1992 Grammy Award winners for Best Alternative Music Album.

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