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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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Renamed Arena Will Always Be Verizon Wireless Amphitheater To Locals

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Defiantly refusing to call the concert venue by the current title appearing on its facade and in promotional materials, Virginia Beach locals confirmed to reporters Tuesday their city’s renamed arena will always be the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater to them. “Verizon Wireless Amphitheater is the name I grew up with, and that’s what I’m alway going to call it. Period,” said Kevin DiClaudio, 25, claiming that the people in charge of the arena had to be “out of their minds” if they thought he was going to start referring to the venue as the Veterans United Home Loans Amphitheater after all these years, seeing as how everyone in town and throughout the greater Hampton Roads area knew it by its previous moniker. “People won’t even know what I’m talking about if I use that new name. But if I say Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, it brings up all these memories. It’s where we go see the fireworks every year. It’s where my dad took me to a Jimmy Buffett concert when I was young. You can’t just go changing history like that.” DiClaudio later added that he still couldn’t bring himself to visit the rebranded Food Lion over on Sandbridge Road, saying he wanted to respect the property’s long, rich history as a Bloom supermarket.

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