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Report: 3 Players In NFL Currently Do Not Have Concussions

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

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Report: 3 Players In NFL Currently Do Not Have Concussions

NEW YORK—According to Friday's official injury report, there are only three players in the National Football League not currently suffering from some form of concussion. "Of 1,696 players, only Chiefs lineman Ryan O'Callaghan, Texans kicker Neil Rackers, and Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck show no symptoms of concussion at this time," the report read in part. "Commissioner Roger Goodell will hold a press conference to discuss this matter as soon as he recovers from the concussion he suffered in week four." As of press time, all NFL games were going ahead as scheduled.

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