Report: 80% Of Subway Track Repairmen Run Over Each Day

Top Headlines

Recent News

How To Reform The Nation’s Prison System

With pressing issues such as overcrowding, overuse of solitary confinement, and the long-term incarceration of nonviolent offenders, many critics of the nation’s prison system are calling for sweeping reforms. Here are some of the proposals to improve the prison system:

Sight Of 400 War Elephants On Horizon Marks Hillary Clinton’s Arrival In Swing State

WHEELING, OH—Feeling the earth shake beneath them as they watched the procession climb over the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains toward their village, sources along the Ohio border confirmed Thursday that the sight of 400 war elephants marching on the horizon marked Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s arrival to the critical swing state.

WNBA MVP Devastated After Roommate Moves Out Without Any Warning

CHICAGO—Saying she is now desperately searching for any options that will prevent her from being evicted, Chicago Sky forward and 2015 WNBA MVP Elena Delle Donne was reportedly left scrambling Thursday after her roommate moved out of their apartment without any warning whatsoever.

Impressive New Hire Figures Out Bare Minimum Of Work Job Requires On First Day

MILWAUKEE—Marveling at his extraordinary ability to learn the ropes at the technology firm and quickly fit right in with the rest of his colleagues, sources at Starpoint Solutions confirmed Thursday that impressive new hire Eric Myers has already figured out the bare minimum of work his job requires on the very first day.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


Healthy Living

Report: 80% Of Subway Track Repairmen Run Over Each Day

WASHINGTON—According to a study released Monday by the American Public Transportation Association, four out of every five subway track repairmen are run over by trains during the course of a normal workday. “So far this year, over 12,000 subway maintenance workers have been run over throughout the United States, with the average subway train hitting one worker an hour,” said APTA representative David Ross, who noted that most incidents were attributable to repairmen’s negligence, inability to find protective cutouts in tunnel walls in time, or tendency to become transfixed by an oncoming train’s lights. “Whenever passengers feel a bump or a screech, that’s a repairman getting run over. And at any given time, three to five workers are typically caught in each subway car’s underside and are being dragged around from stop to stop.” The report confirmed that every delay on a subway line is due to the train’s path being obstructed by a pile of repairmen corpses.