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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Report: 80% Of Subway Track Repairmen Run Over Each Day

WASHINGTON—According to a study released Monday by the American Public Transportation Association, four out of every five subway track repairmen are run over by trains during the course of a normal workday. “So far this year, over 12,000 subway maintenance workers have been run over throughout the United States, with the average subway train hitting one worker an hour,” said APTA representative David Ross, who noted that most incidents were attributable to repairmen’s negligence, inability to find protective cutouts in tunnel walls in time, or tendency to become transfixed by an oncoming train’s lights. “Whenever passengers feel a bump or a screech, that’s a repairman getting run over. And at any given time, three to five workers are typically caught in each subway car’s underside and are being dragged around from stop to stop.” The report confirmed that every delay on a subway line is due to the train’s path being obstructed by a pile of repairmen corpses.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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