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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Report: 84% Of Americans Currently Contestants

WASHINGTON—According to a report issued by the U.S. Department of Prizes Monday, 84 percent of Americans are, at any given moment, participants in a contest, giveaway, or game. "Not only are 20 percent of citizens participating in reality shows, but nearly triple that number are eligible for cash prizes simply by purchasing a lottery ticket, opening a bottle of soda, shopping in a supermarket, or by tuning in to WJYY's Ticket Tuesday every Tuesday between noon and 2 p.m.," the report read in part. "Perhaps more alarming, millions of Americans are currently being mailed literature explaining how they may have already won and not even know it." The report went on to point out that results are not valid in Alaska and Hawaii.
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