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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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Report: 87% Of Americans Unaware They Have Been Chosen In Later Rounds Of MLB Draft

IOWA CITY, IA—According to a report released Wednesday by the University of Iowa, 87 percent of Americans are currently unaware that they have been selected in the later rounds of the 2015 Major League Baseball Draft. “Our survey indicates that over 270 million Americans are totally oblivious to the fact that they’ve been picked between the 20th and 40th rounds of this year’s MLB Draft and are now eligible to negotiate minor-league contracts,” said study author Angelo Crawford, explaining that over four-fifths of the U.S. populace, many of whom never played baseball past Little League, have no idea that their names were recently displayed on the MLB.com live draft tracker as their selections were analyzed by numerous baseball writers and sports bloggers. “For example, several hundred thousand Americans are now part of the Baltimore Orioles organization and have been assigned to the Single-A Delmarva Shorebirds over in Maryland—they just don’t know it.” At press time, over 7 million Americans were ignoring a phone call from an unknown number belonging to Oakland Athletics general manager Billy Beane.


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