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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Report: 92% Of Divorced Parents Get Back Together If Children Ask Enough Times

EVANSTON, IL—In a groundbreaking study experts say could help repair millions of broken families, researchers from the Family Institute at Northwestern University have found that 92 percent of divorced parents will get back together if their children ask enough times. “People tend to assume that couples who’ve been divorced for many years are unlikely to reunite with each other, but research shows that 9 times out of 10, parents will get back together and stay together if their children ask or beg them to do so for a certain period of time,” lead author Dr. Hannah Morris wrote in the study, noting that even if parents have remarried other people, relocated to different areas of the country, and had babies with their new partners, they will nearly always return to their old lives and be a contented couple again if children repeatedly express a strong desire for them to do so. “For example, one 7-year-old subject remained quiet and withdrawn for years after his parents’ divorce, only rarely mentioning his ardent wish for them to rekindle their love. But after telling his mom and dad about seven or eight times how much he wanted them to be a family again, the parents decided to give their relationship another try and got remarried within a year. And they are all very happy now.” Researchers added that an astonishing 98 percent of divorced parents will remarry if their children make a secret, special wish when blowing out their birthday candles.

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