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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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Report: 96% Of Nation's Smut Consumed By Filthiest 1%

VAN NUYS, CA—A study released this week by the San Fernando Valley Institute for Adults-Only Research indicates that a staggering 96 percent of U.S. pornography is consumed by the filthiest 1 percent of the population. “Of all the pornography watched everywhere in the world, the vast majority is consumed by this elite group of ‘super-perverts,’” the study read in part. “The most disturbing aspect of these findings is that everybody in the top 1 percent thinks that everyone else is looking at porn too, and that this is somehow ‘normal,’ but in fact the individuals who think this are small in number and simply the nastiest, dirtiest masturbating freaks out there.” The report concluded that the filthiest 1 percent should feel deep shame for being such incredibly disgusting deviants.

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