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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Report: All The Good Stuff Costs, Like, 200 Bucks

WASHINGTON—A Commerce Department report released Wednesday found that while there is stuff out there for 150 and even 100 bucks, any of the good stuff is going to run you 200 bucks, easy. "This report demonstrates that if you want something really cool that will last more than a year, it's going to cost you," Commerce Secretary Gary Locke said. "But our findings suggest that—while no one's got 200 bucks just lying around—if you buy the more expensive stuff, it'll be worth it in the long run." The report also warned that by 2015 the good stuff might actually set you back 300 bucks, if you can believe that.

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