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Report: All The Good Stuff Costs, Like, 200 Bucks

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Report: All The Good Stuff Costs, Like, 200 Bucks

WASHINGTON—A Commerce Department report released Wednesday found that while there is stuff out there for 150 and even 100 bucks, any of the good stuff is going to run you 200 bucks, easy. "This report demonstrates that if you want something really cool that will last more than a year, it's going to cost you," Commerce Secretary Gary Locke said. "But our findings suggest that—while no one's got 200 bucks just lying around—if you buy the more expensive stuff, it'll be worth it in the long run." The report also warned that by 2015 the good stuff might actually set you back 300 bucks, if you can believe that.

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