adBlockCheck

Report: Americans Receive Majority Of Vitamins Through Hair

Top Headlines

Recent News

Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Entertainment

  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Report: Americans Receive Majority Of Vitamins Through Hair

BOSTON–A report published in the Aug. 25 issue of The New England Journal Of Medicine indicates that the average American receives 87 percent of his or her daily vitamin intake through the hair.

An Aveda Institute rendering of the nutrition absorbed through hair.

"Over the past five years, the field of hair-nutrient technology has evolved at a stunning rate," said Dr. Irving Kallberg, follicular nutritionist and author of the report. "Not surprisingly, shampoo has now surpassed food as the primary source of vitamins for the vast majority of U.S. citizens."

According to Kallberg, a single quarter-ounce application of a high-vitamin shampoo like Clairol's Herbal Essences or Pantene Pro-V provides a full day's supply of Vitamins A, B, C, D and E, as well as minerals like calcium, zinc and magnesium. By supplementing shampoo use with a quality revitalizing conditioner like Aussie Hair Salad, Kallberg said, the user can meet all of his or her nutritional needs.

"A serving of Paul Mitchell shampoo contains more protein than a 14-ounce New York strip steak," Kallberg said. "And, unlike meat, Paul Mitchell products give your hair a healthy, radiant shine."

"I wash my hair at least six times a day," said Robert Meader, a self-described "health nut" from Hermosa Beach, CA. "I used to be a vegetarian, but now I'm on a strict daily regimen of Nexus Protein-Plus shampoo and Aveda clarifying rinse. And you know what? I've never felt better."

Willow Lake shampoo, which meets the USRDA for 11 essential vitamins and minerals.

Across the U.S., restaurants are jumping on the bandwagon, offering patrons a wide selection of hair-care treatments along with their meals. Said Denny's vice-president of operations Ken St. Croix: "We currently offer a $9.99 meal deal featuring choice of entree with soup, shampoo, salad, rinse, potato, conditioner, choice of beverage and blow-dry, with dessert and styling gel available for $2 extra."

Food manufacturers are getting into the act, as well. Campbell's is developing a line of deep-cleansing and conditioning soups. Spokespersons for Chef Boyardee said the company has an anti-dandruff ravioli in the works. And Gatorade is planning a September rollout for its new line of "Sport-Sheen" athletic shampoos, which promise to "replace the vital carbohydrates and electrolytes your hair loses during exercise."

Experts say the trend is only beginning.

"With fatty, empty-calorie-laden Big Macs and pizzas becoming the norm, Americans' reliance on hair-washings for their basic nutritional needs will only increase," said New York University dietitian Penny Raskin. "By 2005, the family dinner hour will be all but obsolete, replaced by the family shower."

"Basically," Raskin said, "the secret to good health is simple: regular exercise, plenty of sleep and a good pH-balanced diet."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close