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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Report: At Least 14 Different Types Of Animals Crawl On You While You Sleep

SAN DIEGO—A study conducted at the University of San Diego found that during an average night's sleep, at least 14 different animals, ranging from ants to Gila monsters to wounded possums, are likely to scurry, slither, or crawl across a slumbering individual's body. "You become a virtual playground for these creatures mere minutes after you fall asleep, inhaling dozens of insects and swallowing up to 17 spiders during an eight-hour period," lead researcher Jack Paulette told reporters Thursday, adding that earwig colonies spend each night hatching thousands of their young in and around human genitalia. "If you’re lying in bed and feel as if something has just brushed across your leg, that's because something actually has. In most cases, snakes." Paulette added that it's not uncommon for a baby mountain goat to clamber upon one's shoulder at night in an attempt to find purchase, and that people who awaken with mountain-goat afterbirth in their bedsheets should know they aren't alone.

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