Report: Average American Consuming 4 Ounces Of Cheese Right Now

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Vol 50 Issue 16

Ronald McDonald Gets Millennial Makeover

McDonald’s officials announced this week that they are redesigning longtime mascot Ronald McDonald with a new outfit and will begin mentioning him on Twitter using the hashtag #ronaldmcdonald, though he does not yet have an account of his own.

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Report: Average American Consuming 4 Ounces Of Cheese Right Now

COLLEGE PARK, MD—According to a report released Monday by researchers at the University of Maryland School of Public Health, the average American is currently eating 4 oz. of cheese or actively preparing that quantity of cheese for insertion into their mouths. “Whether they’re chewing it or slicing it to be consumed in a matter of seconds, the typical American man or woman is, at this moment, ingesting a quarter pound of cheese,” said lead researcher Kenneth Hess, adding that the quantity of cheese being consumed nearly doubles when the cheese is in melted form. “Of course, some Americans are currently consuming zero ounces of cheese, but they’re offset by those working their way through a two-pound block of cheddar as we speak.” Hess added that the report corroborates ongoing research into Americans’ current consumption of gravy, fried batter, and Oreo crumbles.

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