adBlockCheck

Report: Calvin Johnson Probably Works Out Fairly Often

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Report: Calvin Johnson Probably Works Out Fairly Often

DETROIT—Numerous sources confirmed Friday that Detroit Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson probably works out at the gym fairly regularly, speculating, after they watched the two-time All-Pro run across the football field, that the 26-year-old must do one of those spinning classes or something. “He looks pretty fast and jumps around a lot during games, so he probably goes to the gym at least twice a week,” said Lions fan Drew Jenkins, adding that the 6-foot-5, 235-pound player likely knows how to lift weights. “His legs seem strong. He can probably ride on the exercise bikes for a really long time without getting tired. I bet he owns a bunch of different exercise videos, too. That’s the type of guy who gets a gym membership after New Year’s and actually sticks with it all year.” Eyewitnesses, who spotted Johnson leaving Ford Field in a customized Porsche Panamera after a game last season, guessed he might also have a pretty high-paying job.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close