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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Report: Countless Invasive Species Detained In EPA Black Sites

WASHINGTON—According to leaked documents obtained this week by members of the press, the Environmental Protection Agency has for the past 15 years operated a network of secret black sites where an unknown number of invasive species are being held indefinitely. “We’ve learned that thousands of zebra mussels, acres of cheatgrass, and entire colonies of European pepper moths have been rounded up and transported to undisclosed sites throughout the world, where they are detained without legal recourse,” said activist Trevor Collins, who cited documentation confirming that the organisms are forced to endure brutal treatment, extended periods without food or water, and cramped, windowless cells where up to four different species are kept locked together for days at a time. “Sure, you could make the argument that sometimes the government has to get its hands dirty to maintain peace and stability in the ecosystem, but you can’t just keep foreign flora and fauna incarcerated in limbo forever simply because you think they might pose a danger to the American homeland.” Collins suggested that even graver atrocities may have been committed at the EPA black sites, noting that as many as 1.6 million Asian longhorned beetles have died there under questionable circumstances.

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