Report: Dad Proud Of You; He Won't Say It, But It's True

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Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Dad Way Scarier When Controlling Temper

SANTA ROSA, CA—Noting the 51-year-old’s increasingly flushed complexion, wide and intense eyes, and slow, heavy breathing during an argument Friday morning, local siblings Jeff and Katie Russell told reporters that their father, Dave Russell, ...

Area Family Has No Idea Where Dad Gets Shirts

SHERIDAN, WY—Saying he must get them somehow but that his means of procurement remained a mystery, the children of area father Don Griffith, 42, confirmed Friday they have no idea where he gets his shirts.

Mood In Car Takes Grim Turn After Dad Misses Exit

LYNNVILLE, IN—The atmosphere inside the Lowery family car became gravely serious Saturday morning immediately after father and driver Chris Lowery, 44, missed the highway exit he was supposed to take, backseat sources confirmed. “Well, we miss...

Area Dad Off To Bad Start With Waitress

BETHEL, PA—Following an awkward exchange in which Tom Richardson flagged down their server for "a round of waters" mere seconds after being seated, family members confirmed Sunday the 56-year-old father of three was off to a rough start wi...
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College Freshman Decides To Be Lanyard-Wearing Kind

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The Jim Gaffigan Show on TV Land

Report: Dad Proud Of You; He Won't Say It, But It's True

WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Sunday by the Pew Research Center, even though he doesn't always show it and certainly never says it, your father is very proud of you. "He actually talks about you all the time with his coworkers and the friends he plays golf with on Sundays," the report reads in part, stating that while it may seem as if he has little interest in your career, your dad really respects how hard you've worked—regardless of the fact that every time you see him he manages to make a sarcastic little comment about your profession while going out of his way to praise your sister. "You should have seen the smile on his face when he found out you were coming home for Fourth of July weekend." The report concluded that it's just your dad's way, and the sooner you accept it and understand that you will never be able to change him, the happier you'll be.