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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Report: David Segui's Awesome Parents Let Him Use Human Growth Hormone

BALTIMORE—Former Baltimore Orioles designated hitter David Segui admitted last week that, although he did regularly use human growth hormones throughout his 14-year career, he used them with the full permission of his "fuckin' awesome" parents. "They are really open-minded people, and approached my using HGH the same way they approached my experimentation with alcohol and marijuana when I brought them into the house," Segui said. "As long as I respected my mom and dad enough to take HGH in front of them, they said I could take, within safe limits, as many human growth hormones as I wanted." Segui added that maybe the reason Arizona Diamondbacks relief pitcher Jason Grimsley is in so much trouble for taking HGH is because he lied to his parents instead of coming clean right away.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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