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Report: Diamondbacks Are Definitely In The Playoffs

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Report: Diamondbacks Are Definitely In The Playoffs

PHOENIX—According to a new report released by the Elias Sports Bureau on Friday, the Arizona Diamondbacks are without a doubt in the 2011 MLB playoffs. “Though it seems strange at first, we’ve found that if you examine the regular season standings, the Diamondbacks were better than every other team in their division,” the report read in part, adding that the lowercase “y” next to their name is also a surefire indicator that the Diamondbacks have moved on to the postseason. “Mathematically, they earned the right to compete in the National League Division Series. Also, the fact that they are scheduled to play in a playoff game solidifies the notion that they are indeed in the playoffs.” Despite the overwhelming evidence, however, the report goes on to explain that the Diamondbacks being in the playoffs is “unbelievable” and “fucking ridiculous.”

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