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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Report: Dwyane Wade Left Cell-Phone Charger In China

MIAMI—After turning on his cell phone upon landing at the Miami International Airport Monday, Team USA basketball guard and gold medalist Dwyane Wade reportedly realized he had forgotten his phone's charger in his Beijing hotel room. "Shoot, I know exactly where it is, too," said Wade, adding that the charger is located in the outlet near the sink—not the sink in the bathroom but the sink just outside the bathroom. "I wonder if they could send it back to me. Or maybe I should just forget about it and buy a new one. Dammit, they're like 40 bucks." Wade seemed to reach a decision mere moments later, wondering aloud if the Radio Shack near his house is open after 9 p.m.

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