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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Report: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Left Really Nice Thank-You Note To Boat Owner

BOSTON—Law enforcement officials confirmed today that before the police captured Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the 19-year-old left a really nice thank-you note for the owner of the boat in which he had been hiding out that day. “To whom this may concern: Thank you very much for letting me use your boat. It was very nice to lie in,” Tsarnaev reportedly scribbled on the inside wall of the boat. “Anyway, I have to go get arrested now. But I just wanted to say thank you and that I apologize for causing you any trouble and for bleeding all over your boat.” According to sources, Tsarnaev signed the note “Yours, Dzhokhar,” and added a friendly postscript calling for the death of U.S. forces in Afghanistan and Iraq.

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