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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Report: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Left Really Nice Thank-You Note To Boat Owner

BOSTON—Law enforcement officials confirmed today that before the police captured Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the 19-year-old left a really nice thank-you note for the owner of the boat in which he had been hiding out that day. “To whom this may concern: Thank you very much for letting me use your boat. It was very nice to lie in,” Tsarnaev reportedly scribbled on the inside wall of the boat. “Anyway, I have to go get arrested now. But I just wanted to say thank you and that I apologize for causing you any trouble and for bleeding all over your boat.” According to sources, Tsarnaev signed the note “Yours, Dzhokhar,” and added a friendly postscript calling for the death of U.S. forces in Afghanistan and Iraq.

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