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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Report: ESPN's Around The Horn May Be Fixed

NEW YORK—The Sports Talk-Show Gaming Commission announced Monday that Around The Horn, the ESPN program in which competing sports reporters are scored on their analysis, opinions, and snide remarks, is under investigation for a possible point-shaving scandal. "What could have been a haven for spirited debates about sports appears to be nothing more than a front to make certain Las Vegas and Bristol high-rollers richer," said commission chairman Jeremy Schaap, who will further expose the scandal on an upcoming episode of his own ESPN show, Outside The Lines. "Too often, odds-on favorite Jay Mariotti will be in the lead heading into the final minutes, then inexplicably go off on a tangent and be 'muted,' allowing underdog Woody Paige to come from behind and cover the spread. A $100 bet on a guy like Paige can bring in a $5,000 dollar payout in Vegas." Fans of the show say that, if these allegations are true, they will be forced to instead watch Pardon The Interruption, a program where the same exact topics are debated, point-free, at a more convenient time.

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