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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Report: Everything You've Ever Wanted Has Been Right In Front Of You All Along

WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday, everything you have ever wanted—and, indeed, dreamed of—has been right in front of you all along. “If you would just open your eyes, you would see that the woman of your dreams—the sort of girl who could make you happy in ways no other woman ever could—has been right under your nose for years,” the report read in part, adding that if you took just one second to think about it, you would realize that she’s perfect for you. “The evidence is all there: She’s been crazy about you since the day you met, yet somehow you’ve constantly overlooked her. But most significantly, she won’t be around forever, so you’ll just have to step up now if you finally want to understand the real meaning of love.” The report went on to recommend that you just kiss her already.

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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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