Report: Fax Machines Still Pretty Impressive If You Think About It

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Report: Fax Machines Still Pretty Impressive If You Think About It

WASHINGTON—Fax machines, despite using 40-year-old technology and having come into prominence in the 1980s, are actually still pretty impressive if you think about it, a new Brookings Institute report confirmed Tuesday. "Yes, the words 'fax machine' evoke this arcane image of a bulky telephone apparatus that makes a dial-up modem sound, but come on, if you take a step back and think about how, with one press of a button, it's capable of transmitting a facsimile of a document thousands of miles away over a standard telephone line, there's no way you can't find that slightly remarkable," the report read in part, adding that one has to admit that even with all the technological advancements over the years, the fact that fax machines are still viable communication devices in offices around the world is "pretty goddamn amazing." "People still use these things. They rely on them. It's not uncommon for someone to say, 'Send me a fax.' When's the last time you heard someone say, 'Can I borrow your Discman?' See what we're saying?" The report concluded that the mere fact we're even talking about fax machines right now should be evidence enough of how great they still are.