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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Report: Fax Machines Still Pretty Impressive If You Think About It

WASHINGTON—Fax machines, despite using 40-year-old technology and having come into prominence in the 1980s, are actually still pretty impressive if you think about it, a new Brookings Institute report confirmed Tuesday. “Yes, the words ‘fax machine’ evoke this arcane image of a bulky telephone apparatus that makes a dial-up modem sound, but come on, if you take a step back and think about how, with one press of a button, it’s capable of transmitting a facsimile of a document thousands of miles away over a standard telephone line, there’s no way you can’t find that slightly remarkable,” the report read in part, adding that one has to admit that even with all the technological advancements over the years, the fact that fax machines are still viable communication devices in offices around the world is “pretty damn amazing.” “People still use these things. They rely on them. It’s not uncommon for someone to say, ‘Send me a fax.’ When’s the last time you heard someone say, ‘Can I borrow your Discman?’ See what we’re saying?” The report concluded that the mere fact we’re even talking about fax machines right now should be evidence enough of how great they still are.

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