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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Report: FBI Learns Of Plot To Download Old School

WASHINGTON, DC—Citing evidence culled from Internet and cellular phone chatter, the FBI announced Monday that they have "significant reason to believe" that, in the coming weeks, someone in the continental United States is planning to illegally download the 2003 film Old School.

"We will stop at nothing to ensure that this outrageous violation of copyright law does not occur on our soil," said FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III, adding that his best agents are working around the clock trying to prevent the digital theft of the popular comedy. "We are the last line of defense between the intellectual property rights of DreamWorks and total anarchy. We can only pray we'll be able to stop this criminal plot before it is too late."

If the perpetrator is not caught, Mueller said, the film's distributor stands to suffer monetary damages totaling  as much as .03 dollars.

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