adBlockCheck

Report Finds Children Of Parents Often Become Parents Themselves

Top Headlines

After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Report Finds Children Of Parents Often Become Parents Themselves

COLUMBIA, MO—Confirming conventional wisdom on the topic, a report published this week by researchers at the University of Missouri determined that children of parents in many cases go on to one day become parents themselves. “While we expected to find a correlation between growing up around parents and becoming a parent later in life, we did not realize just how overwhelming the connection would be, with well over 80 percent of children of parents eventually taking up parenting themselves,” said the study’s lead author, Martha Cantrell, who examined the backgrounds of 15,000 parents and found that nearly all had grown up in homes where they were exposed to child-rearing on a daily basis. “It’s not surprising that these kids end up on the path to parenting. Children are bound to replicate this behavior as adults, though some actually start as early as high school.” Cantrell added that the best hope for breaking the cycle was for parents to quit raising their child as early as possible.

After Birth Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close