The Damaged Women's Coalition angrily marched on the capitol this afternoon before returning later drunk and crying.
SAN DIEGO—Padres starter Greg Maddux possesses the uncanny ability to correctly guess any pitcher's WHIP, or walks plus hits per innings pitched, based on that pitcher's appearance alone, NL pitchers reported Monday. "I don't know how he does it, but yesterday during warm-ups, he pointed at me, then Johnny [Cueto], then Francisco [Cordero], and said, '1.28, 1.37, 1.46,'" said Reds starter Edinson Volquez, who had minutes earlier challenged Maddux by betting that the 42-year-old veteran would "never in a million years" be able to guess his WHIP. "The man has a gift." Said Bronson Arroyo: "He sort of stared at me for a minute and said '1.58,' then said 'wait, no,' rubbed his chin a little, asked me to stand up straight, and then said '1.59.' I don't know what my posture has to do with how many runners I allow on base, but I'll be damned if he wasn't exactly right." Pirates starter Tom Gorzelanny is not looking forward to his team's upcoming series against the Padres, as he has been lying about his 1.83 WHIP all season to impress his teammates.