Report: It Going To Take Way More Than An Inconceivable Act Of Violence For Country To Rise Above Politics

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Vol 47 Issue 50

Those We Lost In 2011

Once again, the world experienced several million deaths over the course of a year. Five of those people who died were famous.

2011: Politics

Party brinksmanship in Congress has led to the government nearly shutting down on multiple occasions this year.
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Report: It Going To Take Way More Than An Inconceivable Act Of Violence For Country To Rise Above Politics

WASHINGTON—Sources struggling to make sense of the shooting rampage in Tucson confirmed Wednesday that it would take much more than brutally gunning down a congresswoman, a federal judge, a 9-year-old girl, and 17 others for the nation to rise above its current corrosive state of politics. "This was obviously a horrific tragedy, but nowhere near the unspeakable manifestation of evil it would take for politicians and pundits to act like decent human beings," said analyst Grant Ames, adding that this event would have been ripe for disgusting political opportunism even if 30 or 40 people had been killed. "Perhaps if some senators were kidnapped and buried alive as they screamed for mercy we might be able to rise above politics. But they'd probably have to be decapitated, on live television, for it to make any lasting difference. Then again, it still might not." Ames told reporters he couldn't rule out the possibility that no matter what happens, they will all just continue to act like complete assholes.

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