adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News

Report: It Not Worth Staying Past Fifth Inning Of 83% Of Baseball Games

EAST LANSING, MI—According to a report published Wednesday by researchers at Michigan State University, staying past the fifth inning of 83 percent of baseball games is usually pretty pointless. “After about five innings, you’ve basically had the whole baseball experience,” said the study’s leader Michael Kernfield, who added that remaining at a baseball game until the ninth inning is completely impractical 99 percent of the time. “You’ve seen some pitches, you’ve seen some outs, and maybe you’ve seen some hits. At that point, you can tell who’s going to win, and if you can’t, who cares? It’s hot out and traffic’s only going to get worse later. Best to just get out of the parking lot, get home, and enjoy a nice, relaxing evening.” The same report revealed that watching even one inning of a Kansas City Royals game was invariably “a colossal fucking waste of time.”

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close