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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Report: Kanye West, Bill Gates, Tom Hanks All Currently Reading, Enjoying This Article

Mila Kunis, Too

WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the Pew Research Center, at this very moment, the article you are currently reading is simultaneously being viewed and enjoyed by none other than musician Kanye West, business magnate Bill Gates, acclaimed actor Tom Hanks, and even the lovely Mila Kunis. “In addition to the aforementioned individuals, I would like to add that I am also currently reading and thoroughly enjoying this article, as are many of my most powerful and influential colleagues,” said actress Meryl Streep, 64, who the report indicates is—right now, as your eyes graze these very words—reading this news item on a laptop at her Connecticut estate, much as Kobe Bryant, Jennifer Lawrence, and Dominique Strauss-Kahn are in their respective homes. “To think that so many cultural luminaries are happily consuming this one piece of news content at the exact same time, it’s astonishing. And at the exact same time as you, too, reader. Isn’t that wonderful?” At press time, Barack Obama had just reached this article’s last sentence.

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