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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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Report: Kevin Durant’s Success Could Lead To More NBA Teams Drafting Tall Players

NEW YORK—Several NBA scouts confirmed Monday that Thunder forward Kevin Durant's recent success in both the regular season and playoffs could prompt more teams to draft very tall players. "We've been following Kevin Durant very closely to see how the Thunder's 'tall-player experiment' would work out, and we've come to the conclusion that players 6-foot-8 and above have the potential to be very effective in the NBA," said Minnesota Timberwolves scout Brent Haskins, acknowledging that many basketball skeptics believed Durant’s tallness would be a disadvantage on the court and that his closeness to the rim would impede his ability to score. "This is a whole new model for the league and could play into the draft quite a bit. We are definitely thinking about going with someone tall this time around." Cleveland Cavaliers scout Trent Redden said that based on Glen "Big Baby" Davis' poor performance in the playoffs, fewer NBA teams would probably draft fat, useless fucks.

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