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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Report: Kevin Durant’s Success Could Lead To More NBA Teams Drafting Tall Players

NEW YORK—Several NBA scouts confirmed Monday that Thunder forward Kevin Durant's recent success in both the regular season and playoffs could prompt more teams to draft very tall players. "We've been following Kevin Durant very closely to see how the Thunder's 'tall-player experiment' would work out, and we've come to the conclusion that players 6-foot-8 and above have the potential to be very effective in the NBA," said Minnesota Timberwolves scout Brent Haskins, acknowledging that many basketball skeptics believed Durant’s tallness would be a disadvantage on the court and that his closeness to the rim would impede his ability to score. "This is a whole new model for the league and could play into the draft quite a bit. We are definitely thinking about going with someone tall this time around." Cleveland Cavaliers scout Trent Redden said that based on Glen "Big Baby" Davis' poor performance in the playoffs, fewer NBA teams would probably draft fat, useless fucks.

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