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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Report: Lions To Use No. 1 Pick In NFL Draft On Ryan Leaf

DETROIT—Reports coming out of the Detroit Lions camp indicate that the organization is set to make retired NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf the first pick in the 2009 NFL Draft. According to Lions general manager Martin Mayhew, Leaf, who in his brief four-year career threw 14 touchdowns and 36 interceptions for three NFL teams, is exactly what Detroit needs. "You can build an organization around Ryan Leaf," Mayhew told reporters, adding that Wake Forest linebacker Aaron Curry, Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford, and Baylor offensive tackle Jason Smith lack Leaf's professional experience. "We think the people of Detroit are going to go crazy when Roger Goodell calls Ryan Leaf's name this Saturday." Leaf told reporters he hadn't even been notified by the Lions about their decision, but when asked if he would play for the struggling team, he responded, "Sure, okay."

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