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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Report: Maid Of Honor Not Even That Good Of Friends With Bride

LENOX, MA—Citing the pair’s apparent lack of regular communication and a general sense they had grown apart, bridal party sources confirmed Friday that Lindsay Kirkpatrick’s maid of honor, Allison Weiler, isn’t even all that good of friends with the bride, at least not since they were in college and even then you wouldn’t have said they were best friends or anything. “Alli? Really? Alli lives in Denver and they see each other like twice a year,” said Jess, 27, a reportedly super-close friend of Kirkpatrick’s, who went on to add that, yes, Lindsay obviously has a solid friendship with Alli, especially since they studied abroad together in Barcelona, but in the years since they graduated Jess, Kate, and Linds have become extremely close, noting that all three just went to New Orleans for a friends’ weekend and Linds never even mentioned inviting Alli. “Alli’s great, sure. And it’ll be so good to see her. But maid of honor? Am I missing something? I seriously don’t even remember the last time Linds brought her up in conversation. Lindsay talks to Tina more than Alli.” Bridal party sources added, I mean, Tina.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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