adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Report: Majority Of College Football Fans Way Too Into Favorite Teams

INDIANAPOLIS—According to a yearlong study released Monday by the NCAA, 87 percent of college football fans are "way, way too into" their favorite teams. "The degree to which collegiate football dominates the conversation, correspondence, Internet use, mode of dress, and television habits of its fans, especially during the season, intrudes on nearly every aspect of their daily lives," the report read in part, explaining that many casual football fans found their more-invested counterparts either annoying, brainwashed, or slightly pathetic for being so emotionally invested in the lives of 20-year-old boys. "In almost a quarter of cases, fans interviewed were unable to go three sentences without alluding to college football in some way. Moreover, Auburn sucks; rammer jammer, yellowhammer." NCAA researchers apologized for the lateness of the report, which was conducted last season but suspended in the spring due to unavoidable conflicts with March Madness.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close