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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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Report: Majority Of College Football Fans Way Too Into Favorite Teams

INDIANAPOLIS—According to a yearlong study released Monday by the NCAA, 87 percent of college football fans are "way, way too into" their favorite teams. "The degree to which collegiate football dominates the conversation, correspondence, Internet use, mode of dress, and television habits of its fans, especially during the season, intrudes on nearly every aspect of their daily lives," the report read in part, explaining that many casual football fans found their more-invested counterparts either annoying, brainwashed, or slightly pathetic for being so emotionally invested in the lives of 20-year-old boys. "In almost a quarter of cases, fans interviewed were unable to go three sentences without alluding to college football in some way. Moreover, Auburn sucks; rammer jammer, yellowhammer." NCAA researchers apologized for the lateness of the report, which was conducted last season but suspended in the spring due to unavoidable conflicts with March Madness.

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