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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Report: Majority Of Football Fans Better Informed On Health Of NFL Players Than Parents

PHILADELPHIA—According to a new study published Monday by the University of Pennsylvania, the overwhelming majority of football fans are far more informed on the health of NFL players than that of their own parents. “Our surveys indicate that despite an intimate, up-to-date knowledge of various ailments affecting star football players, many fans are largely oblivious to any deterioration of health in their mother or father,” said lead researcher Howard Cenotto, adding that the average fan’s awareness of any given player’s medical history—including past injuries dating back to college—far exceeds any knowledge of heart or blood pressure medications recently prescribed to their parents by a primary care physician. “Most often miss the first glaring signs of Alzheimer’s or dementia in their parents, while also being completely unaware that one or both have been recently diagnosed with adult-onset diabetes. Meanwhile, they remain fully informed of the health of their favorite team's players—pinpointing precise stages of progress in injury rehab and possessing extensive insight into potential complications resulting from any impending surgeries.” The report went on to confirm that the majority of football fans also have absolutely no grasp whatsoever on their own general state of health and can’t remember the last time they visited the doctor for an annual checkup.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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