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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Report: Majority Of Instances Of People Getting Lives Back On Track Occur Immediately After Visit To Buffalo Wild Wings

SEATTLE—According to a University of Washington report published Friday, more than two-thirds of major lifestyle reassessments take place after exiting a Buffalo Wild Wings franchise. "Typically, the moment of self-reflection begins when people find themselves in the parking lot asking questions like, 'Why the hell am I here?' and 'What terrible life path am I currently on that led me to a Buffalo Wild Wings?'" said researcher Dr. Priyank Sarin, adding that most individuals hit bottom when they notice the stench of stale barbecue sauce clinging to their clothes and remember how depressed they felt when they caught their own saddened reflection in one of the many televisions surrounding the restaurant. "By the time you leave a Buffalo Wild Wings, you're ready for a fresh start, because at that point, there's nowhere to go but up." The report shows, however, that 98 percent of people experiencing such epiphanies will return within a week to the very same Buffalo Wild Wings location.

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