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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Report: Media Coverage Of Bear Attacks May Be Biased

NEW YORK—According to a report released Monday by the media-watchdog group Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting, U.S. media coverage of bear attacks is biased, with 98 percent of such reports taking the side of the attacked humans. "The media in this country are blatantly anti-bear," FAIR director Lynette Pierce said. "Virtually every time a bear is taunted, harassed or provoked into lashing out at humans, the bear is depicted in the media as the aggressor." The report went on to state that out of the 411 cases of bear-human conflicts in the last year, humans were victorious in 410 cases.

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