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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Report: Mom's Work Friend Has No One

We Should Invite Her To Dinner Sometime

DENVER—Living room sources reported Monday that Rebecca, a friend of Mom’s from work, has no friends or any relatives nearby and could benefit from a pleasant evening of dinner and company. “She’s all alone in that house of hers—no children, no husband, no one—and her sister just died,” said Mom, leaning in closer and lowering her voice slightly upon uttering the word “died.” “Just having other people there to listen and talk to will mean so much to her. Don’t you think it would be a good idea if we had her over this weekend?” Mom added that it would just be one night and that you can go out with your friends any other time you want, repeating several times that it would just be a really nice thing to do.

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