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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Report: Mood In Spurs Locker Room

OKLAHOMA CITY—Despite the team having brought itself to the Western Conference finals on the strength of weeks of brutally productive and disciplined play, visitors were reportedly startled to find there was a mood in the Spurs locker room following their elimination from the playoffs Wednesday night. "Yes, definitely, there is a mood in here tonight, and I'd have to say it's a predominant mood," Spurs guard Tony Parker told reporters, the general tone of the room reflected in his expressionless face. "But tomorrow is a new day, and we're not going to let that mood affect us going forward." Spurs coach Gregg Popovich later asked reporters to leave, admitting there was a certain tone present in the locker room, but claiming the team would not allow it to develop into an atmosphere or, worse yet, a feeling.

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