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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Report: More Americans Putting Off Retirement Until Final Few Moments Before Death

WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, financial concerns are prompting a growing number of Americans to delay retirement until the very last seconds of their lives. “Given economic conditions over the past decade, we have seen more and more middle-class citizens waiting until their final handful of breaths to step down from their careers,” said Bureau spokesperson Dolores Snyder, who told reporters that older Americans are now enjoying retired life for half an hour on average, typically long enough to have a pleasant conversation with a loved one or get started on a crossword puzzle. “Retirement’s different for everyone—some people may finish up working and then live off Social Security benefits for a few moments before passing on, while others might be able to lead active retired lives that last an entire afternoon. After a lifetime of working tirelessly to support themselves and their families, being able to enjoy several dozen seconds of retirement is a much-needed reward for most Americans.” Snyder added that to live comfortably in retirement, an increasing number of retirees are opting to supplement their income during their final few moments on earth with part-time jobs.

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