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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Report: More Recent College Graduates Making Extra Money By Tutoring High School Teachers

NORMAL, IL—According to the Center for the Study of Education Policy at Illinois State University, an increasing number of recent college graduates unable to find jobs in their chosen field have turned to tutoring high school teachers for money. "Nearly 39 percent of students who received diplomas in 2011 have put their education to use bringing teachers back up to speed on the fundamentals," researcher Ian Ennis said Thursday, adding that while high school faculty members are initially wary of the extra work, they frequently report their tutors are "pretty cool once you get to know them." "As it turns out, most teachers have forgotten quite a bit of their own training, and much of what they do remember hasn't been relevant for decades. So this is a way for young graduates to earn some cash while giving a hand to people who really need it." The survey also noted that on most college campuses in America, post≠doctoral fellows are paying the bills by charging hefty fees to help struggling professors cram for their freshman lectures.

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