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Report: Most NFL Teams Just 1 Or 2 Overpriced Free Agents Away From Super Bowl Victory

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Police Find Super-Sharp Buck Knife

'It's The Kind With A Blade That Locks In Place,' Says Law Enforcement Spokesperson

Warning residents that the blade was “super deadly” and “badass,” city police officials held a press conference Wednesday to announce that they had found a really cool wooden-handled Buck-brand pocketknife on the street.

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Report: Most NFL Teams Just 1 Or 2 Overpriced Free Agents Away From Super Bowl Victory

NEW YORK—Several leading football analysts confirmed Wednesday that most NFL teams are just one or two ridiculously overpriced free agent signings away from a Super Bowl victory. “Giving out a bloated contract to an aging pass rusher or promising a ton of guaranteed money to a declining wide receiver with a history of injuries is all it takes to push a franchise over the top,” said ESPN NFL analyst Bill Polian, adding that even the worst team in the league would become an instant contender for the Lombardi Trophy by wasting most of their salary cap on a couple of unproven or overhyped defenders. “As we’ve seen time and time again, an NFL general manager can be assured of a Super Bowl championship solely by recklessly blowing a colossal amount of cash on a high-profile washed-up veteran or two. Especially if those way-past-their-prime players are expected to switch from their natural positions.” Polian also said that any team that spends $100 million in the offseason on players over 30 is guaranteed to have an NFL dynasty for at least three years.

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