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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Report: NFL May End Lockout By Hiring Scab Owners

NEW YORK—In an effort to protect the integrity of the game, commissioner Roger Goodell confirmed Friday that the NFL has considered ending the lockout by hiring replacement owners to run the day-to-day operation of the league's football teams. "We've already found a number of guys off the street who did a little owning in college," said Goodell, adding that many of the leading candidates had previous experience with owning small businesses, condominiums, and used cars. "Our replacement owners might not be as flashy as someone like Al Davis, but they will be just as effective at running a football franchise, handling difficult management decisions, and collecting profits." Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones criticized the possible move, claiming the scab owners wouldn't know anything about the nuances of price-gouging and fucking over fans.

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