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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Report: No Gay People Actually Refer To Selves As 'Same-Sex Couple'

WASHINGTON—Following the U.S. Supreme Court’s historic rulings on gay rights earlier in the day, a report issued Wednesday by the Human Rights Campaign reveals that not a single one of the nation’s millions of homosexuals actually refer to themselves and their partners as “same-sex couples.” “While the expression ‘same-sex couple’ is frequently incorporated into legislation, legal proceedings, and throughout the media, our research shows that this is not a term that even one gay person has ever used to describe his or her relationship,” said author of the report James Newcastle, 41, who noted that at no point in his own life has he referred to his boyfriend as his “same-sex partner.” “As the evidence demonstrates, whenever two gay people are engaged in a relationship, they usually just say something like, ‘We’re dating,’ or, ‘We’re married,’ or, ‘We’re a couple.’ They might, and it’s a big might, call themselves a ‘gay couple.’ But ‘same-sex couple’ is not a thing that normal people say.” Newcastle added, however, that a surprising number of such romantic pairs are now identifying themselves as a “queer dyad.”

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