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Report: North Korea Just Enjoys Nuclear Talks

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A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture

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NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

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Report: North Korea Just Enjoys Nuclear Talks

WASHINGTON, DC—The Bulletin Of The Atomic Scientists published a report Tuesday revealing what the international community has long suspected: The government of North Korea simply enjoys nuclear talks. "After years of protracted talks about strategic versus domestic nuclear programs and launch and delivery tactics, it's become increasingly evident that North Korea's stalling tactics stem from a deep desire to chat about nukes," said Ambassador Linton Brooks, chief of the National Nuclear Security Administration. "We are beginning to think that behind all this nuclear brinksmanship are 12 high-level scientists and politicians who enjoy getting together, kicking back, and making a weekend out of it." Although North Korea Prime Minister Pak Pong Ju had no comment on the report, members of his cabinet said they "would be delighted" to get together and discuss the matter further.

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