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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Report:     % Of Americans Suffer From Synesthesia

BALTIMORE—A new report from leading neurologists at Johns Hopkins University reveals that as many as      percent of Americans have      or more symptoms of synesthesia. “Our conclusion is that the number of U.S. synesthesia patients is      times as high as at any point since the condition was first identified,” said study head Dr. Phillip Waggoner, announcing the findings of the in-depth     -year study. “It could take      decades to unravel the mysteries of synesthesia and develop an effective treatment.” Waggoner concluded by pleading with the government for more funding so that people afflicted with the medical enigma can live like the other percent of Americans.

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