adBlockCheck

Report: On Surface, Glenbrook, OH A Small Town Like Any Other

Top Headlines

Recent News

End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Holidays

Report: On Surface, Glenbrook, OH A Small Town Like Any Other

GLENBROOK, OH—Citing its rows of modest two-story homes and well-maintained lawns, a report released this week confirmed that Glenbrook, OH appears, on its surface, to be a small town like any other. “At first glance, this tight-knit Midwestern community with its single stoplight and sleepy tree-lined streets seems no different than the workaday towns you might pass through anywhere in Middle America,” the report read in part, describing Glenbrook as a place in which people know their neighbors, children walk to school each day, and a stroll downtown takes you by a church, a bank, a diner, and an old-fashioned ice cream parlor always occupied by a smiling family or a local Little League team. “Most people don’t even look twice at the town square, or the high school, or the old movie theater. Indeed, a casual observer isn’t likely to notice anything out of the ordinary at all.” The report added that, upon closer inspection beneath its quiet, cheerful exterior, visitors might discover something else entirely.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close