adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Report: One In Five Americans Currently Holding For The Next Available Representative

PRINCETON, NJ—A study released Monday by Princeton University found that
20 percent of all Americans are currently waiting for the next available
representative. "At this moment, some 50 million of us are on hold,"
study head William Voss told reporters while waiting to talk to a Con Edison
operator about an error in his February gas bill. "I myself have been
on hold for 13 minutes now." Voss assured Americans that their calls
would be answered in the order they were received.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close