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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Report: Peyton Manning Played Entire Season With 38-Year-Old Body

DENVER—After a lackluster performance in his team’s playoff loss to the Indianapolis Colts, reports emerged Wednesday that Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning played the entire 2014 season with a 38-year-old body. “Many had suspected something was wrong as Manning’s numbers dipped during the second half of the season, but he was able to hide the precise nature of his 38-year-old body from coaches, teammates, and the media,” said ESPN’s Adam Schefter, adding that the team’s midseason shift to a more run-heavy offense was made in an effort to keep the 14-time Pro Bowler from further aggravating his nearly-four-decades-old bones, tendons, and musculature. “Manning was often seen grimacing on the sidelines and was visibly frustrated at being hampered by a 38-year-old body during games. But the situation unfortunately only worsened as he tried to play through it.” Reached for comment, sources from the Broncos medical staff expressed pessimism over Manning’s future, warning that he will put himself at significant risk if he opts to play next season with a 39-year-old body.

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