Report: Seasonal Depression Still Better Than Purchasing Tiny Sunshine Lamp

In This Section

Vol 50 Issue 06

Study: Half Of U.S. Adults Use Phones For Sexting

According to a recent study from the security software company McAfee, more than half of U.S. adults have used their cell phones to send or receive sexually suggestive content including videos, photos, emails, and text messages.

Facebook Adds More Than 50 New Gender Options

Facebook announced yesterday that it will no longer limit users’ choices to “male” or “female” when identifying gender, instead offering a new customizable option allowing them to choose from over 50 preset terms and pick the...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Family

Report: Seasonal Depression Still Better Than Purchasing Tiny Sunshine Lamp

WASHINGTON—According to a new report published Monday by the National Institutes of Health, the mental duress of seasonal affective disorder is still substantially preferable to actually going out and buying a little indoor sunshine lamp. “In controlled studies, the embarrassment of flagging down a Brookstone clerk and uttering the words ‘I’d like a Nature Bright lamp’ far outweighed the emotional toll of wintertime blues, even before factoring in the awkwardness of repeatedly having to explain the glaring rectangle to houseguests,” read the report, which also found that experiencing brief periods of seasonal depression pales in comparison to the onerous task of dragging a desk lamp from room to room six months out of the year. “In fact, a majority of people said they’d gladly take some extra anxiety or sleep problems if it meant never having to convince themselves that $100 for a bunch of multicolored LED lights was a good investment.” The report concluded by reminding all sufferers of seasonal depression that while they might feel sad sometimes, at least they don’t have to pretend Sky Effect™ technology is a real thing.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More