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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Report: Several NFL Teams Interested In Tim Tebow As Grounds Crew Worker

NEW YORK—Sources confirmed Monday that at least six NFL franchises have expressed serious interest in quarterback Tim Tebow as a grounds crew worker, claiming that the former Florida Gators star would be a perfect fit for their field maintenance team. “From a purely physical standpoint, Tebow has the size, strength, and agility for turf management, snow removal, or lifting 50 pounds of mulch,” said Kansas City Chiefs general manager John Dorsey, who expressed concerns about whether Tebow possessed the mental makeup to handle the stresses of mowing at a professional level. “Tim certainly has the skills to unload equipment, water grass, and organize and clean the storage areas, but he’s a little sloppy. We would be willing to take a chance on him for the league minimum, of course. However, if he wants insurance, he needs to put in 40 hours a week.” Tebow has reportedly stated that he wants to paint the lines on the field, but all the interested NFL teams agreed that the 26-year-old was not yet ready for such a challenging task.

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